MIRIAM: Maintenance Guide and Manual
by Blue Phoenix135790
Summary: We at Zero-G/Crypton Incorporated believe in giving you the finest quality products that money can buy. We greatly appreciate your recent purchase and if you ever have any problems after reading this manual, a support team is available 24/7. Enjoy!


**A/N: **Okay, so I have no idea if I should place this as a crossover, but there are multiple references to Harry Potter, as in my Headcanon. Really, look her up on deviantART and you'll see why.

Meanwhile, nothing belongs to me.

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><p>Congratulations! You just purchased your very own MIRIAM unit! Please read this manual to avoid getting punched in the face!<p>

**Accessories**

MIRIAM units come packaged with

1. Tube of lipstick, color depending on unit

2. Violin

3. Specially altered Hogwarts outfit (Slytherin house), complete with 10.5-inch birch wand with dragon heartstring core

**Common Personality Settings**

Calm (Default)

Over the Hill

MAGIC TIEM!

MIRIAM units are actually the calmest units you can buy, next to the KIYOTERU HIYAMA units, and will remain calm during nearly any situation. They will also play nice violin compositions if left alone for long enough.

Over the Hill mode is activated whenever a MIRIAM unit hears a younger unit start talking about their new account/game/electronic, and they will feel incredibly old, which isn't helped by their white hair. The quickest way to activate this mode is to get a SONIKA unit talking about her Twitter account.

Honestly, we have no idea why you would even unpack the Hogwarts uniform (Borrowed with special permission from Bloomsbury Inc., now known as Pottermore Inc., for unknown reasons), but just seeing it is enough to set off the MAGIC TIEM! mode. During this mode, MIRIAM will become completely Ooc, and will use her wand to fire off random spells randomly. The quickest way deactivate this mode is to activate her Over the Hill mode.

**Other Compatible/Incompatible Units**

LEON: These units are seen by MIRIAM units as their older brothers. Dual ownership is recommended.

LOLA: These units are seen by MIRIAM units as their older sisters. Dual ownership is recommended.

KAITO: These two are on shaky terms, as the original KAITO unit made a comment to the original LEON about having an "entire harem of English girls to himself". This got the KAITO unit beat up, and the term "BaKaito" was born, to his sadness. Dual ownership is not recommended.

LUKA MEGURINE: These units are used by English-only units to cross the language gap between the English and Japanese models. Ownership is recommended if you plan on getting a Japanese unit as well.

MIKU HATSUNE: MIRIAM units are known to take care of these units, but often feel as if they are living in the MIKU unit's shadow.

SONIKA: Theses units are basically the "younger sisters" to the MIRIAM units. Unfortunately, the SONIKA unit's talk of Twitter usually sends MIRIAM units into Over the Hill moment. Ownership isn't recommended, but the two might be owned together with some easiness.

HAPPY POTTER units: While not units by Zero-G/Crypton, Inc., these units see MIRIAM units as just another "student" at Hogwarts. If you plan on owning one, be prepared for various random activations of MAGIC TIEM! mode.

**Other Uses and Purposes**

MIRIAM units have high, delicate voices, and are usually good with singing hymns and such. Taking your MIRIAM unit to church with you might give your church choir that strength that they need.

Other than that, MIRIAM units make excellent beauticians, due to their impeccable choice of lipsticks and other make-up. They can also become orchestra violinists, with enough practice, and artists.

**Handling and Care**

These units are self sufficient, but like with the LEON units, can become quite confused with modern technology. Luckily, MIRIAM units aren't afraid to ask for help.

These units can cook, but choose not to. They claim that they "do not want their hair to catch fire", which actually might be a valid excuse, as their white hair is quite long. Make sure that you brush her hair everyday, but your MIRIAM unit can do it herself if you forget.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: My MIRIAM unit acts more like a punk rocker! What's going on?

A: First of all, why do all of our questions begin with complaints? Second of all, this is actually a glitch in your case. Unless you want a Punk!MIRIAM unit in your house, send it back and we will fix everything.

Q: My MIRIAM actually took an interest in my SONIKA unit's Twitter account, and made her own! What's going on?

A: Calm down. Your MIRIAM actually understands Twitter, so what? Just don't introduce her to Facebook, or the like. Your unit's head might implode.

Q: My MIRIAM unit was caught in her MAGIC TIEM! mode! In PUBLIC! SHOULD I BE PANICKING RIGHT NOW?

A: The only problem here is your yelling. Send your MIRIAM unit to Pottermore, Inc.'s privately owned location, Hogwarts. After a year (Approximately), your MIRIAM will return knowing better and the memory will be wiped from existence.

Many well wishes to you and thank you for buying from Zero-G/Crypton Inc.!

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><p><strong>AN:** ...Yeah, I don't know.

REVIEW, GODDAMMIT!


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